Connections
About the hardest aspect of this deployment has been the separation from my family and my UU community. It was much more difficult to leave on such short notice than having had months to prepare, as for my previous deployments.
In one respect, however, it was easier to leave my wife this time than the others. Usually, with all that time to dwell on the fact of leaving and stress out about it, my wife and I would go through a lot of pre-separation tension, as if we were trying to make it desirable to be separated! This time, however, it all happened so fast that we barely had time to process it and make the basic preparations for my absence. Before I knew it I was packed and saying goodbye at the airport, and we never had time to argue! Small blessing.
I have continued to feel a very strong connection to home and the people I love and miss since being here. First of all, the wonders of modern technology allow almost constant communication. One of the highlights of this trip has been being able to call my little daughter on her third birthday, the day after I arrived in Iraq. Hearing her sweet voice was such a treat, and it is every time. It is somewhat surreal to be able to write e-mails and call home from the middle of a war zone – I can only imagine what it’s like for the Marines who go on patrol then get to come back here, eat a hot meal, and call home!
Something else that helps me feel connected is the set of "talismans" I carry. There are five things I keep in my pockets all the time; special things I’ve borrowed that I must return when I get home. They are no small comfort to me, and every time I touch one of them I am reminded of the wonderful strength of my relationships.
This process started at the BRUU Pagan Circle Mabon (autumn equinox) feast, when a friend suggested, or rather insisted, that I take something from the garden’s medicine wheel, to be returned when I came home. Honestly, at first I did that just to humor her, but the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea, and the more right it felt. I found a nice stone, small enough to fit in my pocket, smooth as glass like a worry stone. When I touch it I see Tom’s wonderful garden and the smiling faces of my BRUU community.
Soon I decided I should have something special from each of my children. I asked my son to pick something out for me, but he was a little reluctant. I found the perfect thing, though – a small rubber lizard that he called a "crop lizard" when he was very small. He willingly agreed to let me have Lizard, so long as I bring him back. He rides in my pocket, raising eyebrows when he comes out to look around. Not to be outdone, my daughter gave me a little stuffed puppy dog, saying "here, daddy, you take my puppy." Ironically, it’s a toy I brought home to her from a trip last summer. Puppy has a nice home to himself in my cargo pocket.
I didn’t think to ask my wife for anything, but she provided a crystal we had found during a very special camping trip many years ago. It too is perfect. The final talisman I carry is a yellow Lance Armstrong "liveStrong" bracelet loaned to me by my cousin. She had gotten it from her sister, so it has extra special meaning. It is a reminder to be strong – to live my values and bear witness – every day. I can return it to my cousin when I pass through California on my way home.
It might seem silly to carry these objects rather than pictures, but they represent a very real and tangible connection between me and my loved ones at home. Imagine a long, stretchy rubber band, subtly yet insistently tugging me back through these months, until at last I return the talismans (and myself) to their rightful places, restoring the balance that has been disturbed.
In one respect, however, it was easier to leave my wife this time than the others. Usually, with all that time to dwell on the fact of leaving and stress out about it, my wife and I would go through a lot of pre-separation tension, as if we were trying to make it desirable to be separated! This time, however, it all happened so fast that we barely had time to process it and make the basic preparations for my absence. Before I knew it I was packed and saying goodbye at the airport, and we never had time to argue! Small blessing.
I have continued to feel a very strong connection to home and the people I love and miss since being here. First of all, the wonders of modern technology allow almost constant communication. One of the highlights of this trip has been being able to call my little daughter on her third birthday, the day after I arrived in Iraq. Hearing her sweet voice was such a treat, and it is every time. It is somewhat surreal to be able to write e-mails and call home from the middle of a war zone – I can only imagine what it’s like for the Marines who go on patrol then get to come back here, eat a hot meal, and call home!
Something else that helps me feel connected is the set of "talismans" I carry. There are five things I keep in my pockets all the time; special things I’ve borrowed that I must return when I get home. They are no small comfort to me, and every time I touch one of them I am reminded of the wonderful strength of my relationships.
This process started at the BRUU Pagan Circle Mabon (autumn equinox) feast, when a friend suggested, or rather insisted, that I take something from the garden’s medicine wheel, to be returned when I came home. Honestly, at first I did that just to humor her, but the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea, and the more right it felt. I found a nice stone, small enough to fit in my pocket, smooth as glass like a worry stone. When I touch it I see Tom’s wonderful garden and the smiling faces of my BRUU community.
Soon I decided I should have something special from each of my children. I asked my son to pick something out for me, but he was a little reluctant. I found the perfect thing, though – a small rubber lizard that he called a "crop lizard" when he was very small. He willingly agreed to let me have Lizard, so long as I bring him back. He rides in my pocket, raising eyebrows when he comes out to look around. Not to be outdone, my daughter gave me a little stuffed puppy dog, saying "here, daddy, you take my puppy." Ironically, it’s a toy I brought home to her from a trip last summer. Puppy has a nice home to himself in my cargo pocket.
I didn’t think to ask my wife for anything, but she provided a crystal we had found during a very special camping trip many years ago. It too is perfect. The final talisman I carry is a yellow Lance Armstrong "liveStrong" bracelet loaned to me by my cousin. She had gotten it from her sister, so it has extra special meaning. It is a reminder to be strong – to live my values and bear witness – every day. I can return it to my cousin when I pass through California on my way home.
It might seem silly to carry these objects rather than pictures, but they represent a very real and tangible connection between me and my loved ones at home. Imagine a long, stretchy rubber band, subtly yet insistently tugging me back through these months, until at last I return the talismans (and myself) to their rightful places, restoring the balance that has been disturbed.
posted by Greg at 11/10/2004 09:52:00 AM
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