On Its Stomach

Napoleon reportedly started the rumor that “an army marches on its stomach.” That is certainly true of the Marine Corps; food and eating are a central part of life here at Al Asad.

The chow hall experience is a unique blend of fast food, all-you-can-eat buffet, and fine dining. Every meal starts with standing in line – of course, this IS the military. But one has to decide WHICH line – the “main line” or the “snack line.” The snack line, sometimes called the “speed line,” is the fast food line, offering hamburgers, hot dogs, pizza, chicken wings, picnic fare, sandwiches, and the like. It is fairly popular, both because most of the Marines here are under 21, and because the snack line is usually shorter than the main line. But there’s a secret: the main line actually feeds two serving lines, so it moves twice as fast as the “speed line!”

Upon entering the “main line” side of the chow hall, one encounters a person I call the “maitre d’ chow hall.” This person is typically a Third Country National (TCN in military parlance), someone who is neither American nor Iraqi, hired by KBR. The maitre d’ directs diners to one of the two serving lines, presumably the one that is shorter.

After a short time in the second line, the diner picks up a tray and plastic utensils, then is offered a choice of meat, rice and/or potatoes, and vegetables. The servers occasionally know what “just a little bit” means, but typically I end up with more than I want. Surprisingly, I have been able to eat vegequarian (fish and seafood but no meat; if it has feet, I don’t eat) pretty well here. There’s always tuna fish.

There is a salad bar with green salad fixings, various pasta salads, and sometimes fruit; then comes the ever-popular dessert section. There are almost always cookies, usually cake or pie, and lately ice cream (strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate) every night. Drinks consist of boxed juice and milk, canned soda, water, and coffee.

We sit and eat cafeteria style, and because we’re Americans, there are six TV’s on at all times, usually with sports or news. My roommate Chuck is typically my dining partner, and we always sit so he can see at least one screen. The presence of TV is one of the least appealing aspects of mealtime.

Upon finishing, the now sated diner takes her or his tray outside, where all refuse is dumped in trash cans. No recycling or composting here – out to the dump to be burned for our trash.

The good: crab legs, ice cream, chocolate cake.
The bad: roasted garlic mashed potatoes.
The ugly: soup, and anything from the speed line.

Reportedly, there is a Taco Bell franchise opening at the PX soon (really, I saw the sign!). Maybe that will take some of the pressure off the chow hall and the lines will be shorter.